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So, My Dad Died


On Saturday May 25th I get a text from my sister saying ‘Just an FYI, dad is dying’. I tell her thanks. I get a text the next day saying ‘Dad passed away this morning’ I say thank u and she asks me if I want to know funeral arrangements and I say please. She says ‘Ok will let you know when I find out’.

Yesterday my wife saw my sister’s post on Facebook that said she was enjoying Lion’s Choice. My wife asked if she was in town and she said ‘We are here for my dad’s funeral tomorrow’. That is today.

I haven’t talked to my father since I was in high school. I don’t remember the date but I know it was at a choir concert that I was in, and the fire alarm was pulled right before it started and he drove up while we were standing outside. If there was no fire alarm, he would have missed part of my performance.

My parents were divorced when I was like four or five. I never remember them married. I know it took a few years for my elementary school to realize it. I was raised by my mother with the help of my grandparents. We lived right by them throughout my childhood. My dad still owes my mom thousands of dollars in back child support. Back then it was only $35 a week before I was 16, then $50 a week from age 16 til I joined the Marines. So it took a while for that to add up. I don’t know the amount of money that he owed my grandparents for medical bills, but I know it was a lot.

The only things I knew I got from my dad were my singing and my bad shoulder. He owned a square dance record and calling company in his third marriage and I got to mess around with calling. I thought I was pretty good.

My Men’s Fraternity group would call this ‘the Father Wound’. I call it I have moved on and I don’t let the actions of one person affect me. I learned from my Grandpa and others the best I could.

I am 16 years younger than my sister. The only way we talk is thru the occasional text or Facebook comment. She recently divorced my brother-in-law because of things I am not aware of. They were married 25 years or so. It was the second marriage for both of them. So let’s not say we are close. I have written before how I don’t talk to my brother and mother.

But please, do not feel sorry for me. Just be happy with the family you have. I have a kindred spirit that I jokingly call my sister, she is part of a family that is there for me, besides my wife and son. Thank you Barb, I am blessed.

I am not at my dad’s funeral. I am here just doing the best I can.

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